Ok, so here's the deal. I heard from a friend that his daughter was 'dumped' in an email or text-he's a guy, he couldn't remember. Had I spoken to her mother, I would have gotten the entire scoop, whether text or email, how many characters were used and what exactly was said. That's beside the point, but since it came up, a point non the less I felt like making about dads and moms.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, back to the story, this situation got me to thinking as I have 3 boys of my own. I wondered how they will navigate the trials of dating and 'going with' someone and how to end the relationship in a civilized manner. Yes, you are reading this correctly, with no holds barred, I do not think texting or emailing or any other form of impersonal breaking up is appropriate. Maybe it's because I'm a mom (and of the female gender) but I guess I think people deserve more. I think those psychological types call it 'closure' and maybe that's what I'm thinking. But speak in plain english and tell your significant other that you are through, the timing isn't right, you don't like the way they chew with their mouth open...whatever, just speak it preferably with them in the same room but even a phone call is better!
Our kids are inundated with what social media yet I fear that when they get out of our homes and into the real world, they will not know how to act and behave because all they did was conduct their friendships and relationships online or in text messages. Yes, they are going to school and are involved in extra curricular activities, but what are we teaching them about meeting new people and acquiring a tolerance for someone that is not like them outside of the confines of their schools and comfortable groups within those schools? When they go off to college and get a dorm room mate, will they be capable of sorting out their differences and compromising with each other to live? Will they be able to learn something from each other by recognizing and embracing their differences in the small confines of a dorm room or apartment?
Nothing beats a face to face personal relationship and friendship. This is how we learn to accept each other with all our faults and flaws. It's so easy to let people go via our impersonal texting and social computing. Do we really get to know someone on the internet? Isn't it true that in reality, if you get to know someone on the internet, you make a point to get to know them on a more personal level even if it's by phone or better yet meeting?
I guess I have no answers here, just tossing a bunch of questions. But I want my kids to grow to have strong relationships built on more than a wireless connection. I want them to understand personal interaction and how to conduct themselves in the presence of others. And I want them to be able to diffuse situations in all their relationships by understanding the human spirit and that not everyone is like them.
I'll look forward to any comments here.
Thanks and back to business!
Dawn
